It's been a week since my last post, so I guess it's time for me to force out another blog. I think that sometimes I lie to myself, telling myself that someday writing will just come easy. I live in a house full of writers and talking with all of them I know for a fact that it will never come easy.
I guess I feel most of the time that I want to wait until I have something that I feel is profound to share with all 4 people that read my blog. In all honesty however it is most likely more due to procrastination than anything.
I am admittedly a liar at times, and being completely upfront about all things is a daily struggle for me. However I have realized that my bad habit has started to grow into other areas of life. I have learned to try and police myself when I catch myself lying to others but I feel that I may have become so good at this deceptive craft that I can now, quite effectively lie to myself. It has reached a bad point when it takes several inner monologues for me to figure out the truth about myself.
Over the past few weeks I have realized that I have some areas in which to improve on in my life. I have also realized that I will never fix anything unless I can sit myself down and be honest with myself about my feelings, motives, and intentions. As long as I can spin my behaviors to myself I will never reach a position that is teachable.
In the coming week I have decided to lay down my defenses and give myself a more honest look. I am determined to grow here now.
Small update in my life.
I might be moving into a new apartment closer to downtown with some of my best friends.
I have begun a new adventure in dating with a beautiful girl named Crystal. ( who is currently bed ridden with some flu that I'm praying I will not catch)
And we might just be getting a dog which surprisingly at the moment seems exciting.
LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland
I guess I feel most of the time that I want to wait until I have something that I feel is profound to share with all 4 people that read my blog. In all honesty however it is most likely more due to procrastination than anything.
I am admittedly a liar at times, and being completely upfront about all things is a daily struggle for me. However I have realized that my bad habit has started to grow into other areas of life. I have learned to try and police myself when I catch myself lying to others but I feel that I may have become so good at this deceptive craft that I can now, quite effectively lie to myself. It has reached a bad point when it takes several inner monologues for me to figure out the truth about myself.
Over the past few weeks I have realized that I have some areas in which to improve on in my life. I have also realized that I will never fix anything unless I can sit myself down and be honest with myself about my feelings, motives, and intentions. As long as I can spin my behaviors to myself I will never reach a position that is teachable.
In the coming week I have decided to lay down my defenses and give myself a more honest look. I am determined to grow here now.
Small update in my life.
I might be moving into a new apartment closer to downtown with some of my best friends.
I have begun a new adventure in dating with a beautiful girl named Crystal. ( who is currently bed ridden with some flu that I'm praying I will not catch)
And we might just be getting a dog which surprisingly at the moment seems exciting.
LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland
Corty, McCortster! Good for you! My inner dialogue usually doesn't last long, and while with good intentions, I sometimes make the wrong decisions and put my foot in my mouth and make an ars (ass in Irish) of meself(again, Irish).
Viva la Quatro! (our dog's name)
you are a good man cortland.
i know exactly how you feel.
i see how important honesty is...
with others and especially myself.
i love you broseph :]