Looks Good on Paper

This weekend was wiled so I did not get my blog done on Saturday. I know that on the 2 week of the year I have failed to do exactly as I set out to do. But I'm making it up now, and I think that it counts. As far as I'm concerned it counts and I'll continue to aim to get this done every Saturday as previously scheduled.


I know that all the devout readers of this blog have been waiting with anticipation to see how my week was so here goes.

I have been doing a lot of praying and thinking in an attempt to reach a more organized and streamline way of doing life. I have been trying to develop some new habits in this new year that I'm hoping will stick. One of those is to become a little less emotional. Now I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as overly emotional. I do not hold on to a lot tightly. I pride myself on being pretty unattached and easily adaptable to any situation. The one area that I find myself to be wrought with emotion is in my self image. The way that I see myself brings up a lot of extreme emotions.

Now this can be a good thing in the sense of me actually having real motivation for self improvement. People that hold no emotion in the area of self image (which I would guess is somewhere close to none) would never have the emotional motivation to change anything about themselves.

My issue has stemmed from the fact that when one becomes overly emotional in an area of their life it disallows them from having a clear view of the real problem. Irrational behavior is always driven by massive amounts of emotion. When I see that I am a failure in an area of my life (of which I am in many areas) I can begin to fix this problem. My problem over the past couple months is that I get so angry, depressed, sad, and overwhelmed by my failure that I no longer have the clear vision to see how to fix it.

When looked at very clearly from an outside perspective, many issues that I wrestle with daily are very simple problems with even simpler fixes. The problem that I have is that I identify with my problems so much that I let them define me. So now I feel all these emotions about being a lazy person, or an unreliable person, or a mean person, or an angry person, or a dirty person, or many other characteristics I can take on.

Rather than simply looking at the situation clearly and feeling a brief emotion about being lazy in this case, or not being reliable in this case. These issues are easy to fix. The next time this situation arises I will simply choose to not be angry or lazy. I can easily wrap my mind around that. It is such a simple thing to wake up on time, study more, be nicer, or clean up a dirty room.

Why is it that myself and many people I know choose to Identify themselves with their problems. Its an easy concept to decide to tell the truth. It is a much harder thing to do when battling all the emotions of feeling like a lire.

This week it is my desire to see myself as a dependable, honest, disciplined, loving man that has his moments, rather than a dirty, lazy, unloving, child who can hardly do a thing right.
I'll tell you who I end up at the end of the week.