In my short time recieving email

Posted by Cortland On 1:09 PM 6 comments
I want to start out this blog entry/email with a disclaimer saying that I do not think that the media and the "left" are neccisarily fair outlooks on the world. What I do want to say is that in the few years of having an email address I have probably recieved a good 300 plus emails about president Bush and other republican politions with quotes and speachess that paint them in a Christian light. And to this day I recieve emails almost weekly about the demise of our great country. But have not recieved 1 raising Obama up for his openess about Christ and an encouragement to pray for him as a child of God.  

I want to put this speach up for the purpose of spreading an equaly positive light on another flawed president. We will never have a president that the church  agrees on 100 percent. We have Jesus for us all to agree on 100 percent.  
Let's just remember that we live in the most powerful country in the world and soak in the truths spoken by a broken man leading it.

Obama's Easter speech
I can't tell any of you anything about Easter that you don't already know. (Laughter.) I can't shed light on centuries of scriptural interpretation or bring any new understandings to those of you who reflect on Easter's meaning each and every year and each and every day. But what I can do is tell you what draws me to this holy day and what lesson I take from Christ's sacrifice and what inspires me about the story of the resurrection.

For even after the passage of 2,000 years, we can still picture the moment in our mind's eye. The young man from Nazareth marched through Jerusalem; object of scorn and derision and abuse and torture by an empire. The agony of crucifixion amid the cries of thieves. The discovery, just three days later, that would forever alter our world -- that the Son of Man was not to be found in His tomb and that Jesus Christ had risen.

We are awed by the grace He showed even to those who would have killed Him. We are thankful for the sacrifice He gave for the sins of humanity. And we glory in the promise of redemption in the resurrection.

And such a promise is one of life's great blessings, because, as I am continually learning, we are, each of us, imperfect. Each of us errs -- by accident or by design. Each of us falls short of how we ought to live. And selfishness and pride are vices that afflict us all.

It's not easy to purge these afflictions, to achieve redemption. But as Christians, we believe that redemption can be delivered -- by faith in Jesus Christ. And the possibility of redemption can make straight the crookedness of a character; make whole the incompleteness of a soul. Redemption makes life, however fleeting here on Earth, resound with eternal hope.

Of all the stories passed down through the gospels, this one in particular speaks to me during this season. And I think of hanging -- watching Christ hang from the cross, enduring the final seconds of His passion. He summoned what remained of His strength to utter a few last words before He breathed His last breath.

"Father," He said, "into your hands I commit my spirit." Father, into your hands I commit my spirit. These words were spoken by our Lord and Savior, but they can just as truly be spoken by every one of us here today. Their meaning can just as truly be lived out by all of God's children. 

So, on this day, let us commit our spirit to the pursuit of a life that is true, to act justly and to love mercy and walk humbly with the Lord. And when we falter, as we will, let redemption -- through commitment and through perseverance and through faith -- be our abiding hope and fervent prayer. 

Many of you are living out that commitment every day. So we want to honor you through this brief program, celebrating both the meaning of Easter and the spirit of service that embodies so much of your work.
-President Obama (Easter 2010)

Growth?

Posted by Cortland On 6:27 AM 0 comments
So I've written a few blog entries from the good old iPhone. But I
think that this will be the first to actually hit the web. It goes to
show you that technology alone will not give you the dicipline to do
something. I used to think that if I got an iPhone I would make all my
phone calls, answer all my emails, blog every doy, and stay up wth
every podcast I desired to follow. This however did not turn out to be
the case. I think that I may be in about the same place in all of
these diciplines. I did not take into account, when dreaming about
this incredble technology, that since these things such as emails
would be with me all the time. This makes them that much easier to
answer, but also that much easier to ignore. I'm realizing that this a
constant in every area of life that that if your diciplines do not
grow with your resources you will honestly feel like you're moving
backwords. I've got some catching up to do, but keep reading...cause
I'm gonna keep runnin baby

So I'm a couple days late.

Posted by Cortland On 7:16 PM 0 comments


This weekend was wiled so I did not get my blog done on Saturday. I know that on the 2 week of the year I have failed to do exactly as I set out to do. But I'm making it up now, and I think that it counts. As far as I'm concerned it counts and I'll continue to aim to get this done every Saturday as previously scheduled.


I know that all the devout readers of this blog have been waiting with anticipation to see how my week was so here goes.

I have been doing a lot of praying and thinking in an attempt to reach a more organized and streamline way of doing life. I have been trying to develop some new habits in this new year that I'm hoping will stick. One of those is to become a little less emotional. Now I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as overly emotional. I do not hold on to a lot tightly. I pride myself on being pretty unattached and easily adaptable to any situation. The one area that I find myself to be wrought with emotion is in my self image. The way that I see myself brings up a lot of extreme emotions.

Now this can be a good thing in the sense of me actually having real motivation for self improvement. People that hold no emotion in the area of self image (which I would guess is somewhere close to none) would never have the emotional motivation to change anything about themselves.

My issue has stemmed from the fact that when one becomes overly emotional in an area of their life it disallows them from having a clear view of the real problem. Irrational behavior is always driven by massive amounts of emotion. When I see that I am a failure in an area of my life (of which I am in many areas) I can begin to fix this problem. My problem over the past couple months is that I get so angry, depressed, sad, and overwhelmed by my failure that I no longer have the clear vision to see how to fix it.

When looked at very clearly from an outside perspective, many issues that I wrestle with daily are very simple problems with even simpler fixes. The problem that I have is that I identify with my problems so much that I let them define me. So now I feel all these emotions about being a lazy person, or an unreliable person, or a mean person, or an angry person, or a dirty person, or many other characteristics I can take on.

Rather than simply looking at the situation clearly and feeling a brief emotion about being lazy in this case, or not being reliable in this case. These issues are easy to fix. The next time this situation arises I will simply choose to not be angry or lazy. I can easily wrap my mind around that. It is such a simple thing to wake up on time, study more, be nicer, or clean up a dirty room.

Why is it that myself and many people I know choose to Identify themselves with their problems. Its an easy concept to decide to tell the truth. It is a much harder thing to do when battling all the emotions of feeling like a lire.

This week it is my desire to see myself as a dependable, honest, disciplined, loving man that has his moments, rather than a dirty, lazy, unloving, child who can hardly do a thing right.
I'll tell you who I end up at the end of the week.



Hello There Blog, My Fareweather Friend

Posted by Cortland On 3:53 PM 0 comments
So Although I feel like I have grown in several areas of my life over the past few years, I still never cease to amaze myself in how inconsistent I can remain. No matter what I attempt to become consistent at, I remain inconsistent in almost every important area of my life. So this new year I am going to attempt a few seemingly simple consistencies.

One of these being to write a blog once a week. Every Saturday to be specific it is my objective to give a brief overview of my week and the events that went on. I want this blog to be a place where I can both reflect on my weeks happenings and family and friends can stay up to date on my latest news. This week the first week that of the new year that I am counting since the full week occurred in 2010 is the first week to be documented in my scattered way of keeping records.

It has been quite a week year already and like we have just established it is the first full week of the new year. I have realized this week that I have a lot of growth yet to attain, and that it is a lot harder to inspire growth on your own than it is to be thrown into it unfairly and and unprepared by a needy world. Up to this point in both my spiritual and leadership growth, my growth has been accentuated by the catalyst of a life that demands more of me than I could bring. In the last weeks my life has become considerably less stressful in some areas but in other areas it has left me asking how do I grow now when I feel no real pressure.

As anyone who has read this blog before or knows me, knows, it is that I do not do well at self motivation. I'm not the self inspiring leader that I wish I were. Unfortunately the most growth in my life has occurred when outside forces inspire me to achieve something greater. In this coming year I seek to change this fact about myself. I seek to become ruthlessly self motivated.

This week I have experienced something that I have never been this close to in the 20 year I have been on earth. Three kids in our community were in a car wreck this week, 2 of which I knew well, 1 that I never got a chance to meet. Two of these kids are no longer with us on earth. This is not news that I think anyone is prepared to deal with up close. I have been stretched this week to ask what do I say to someone during these times.

I have realized this last week that no matter how outmatched, underdeveloped, or uncomfortable you may feel in any situation if asked, God is so faithful to give anyone the ability to be the person that God needs you to be. In the coming weeks it is my objective to be all the way there. In any situation I find myself to be in I want to pursue passion in that thing.

There is so much going on in my life right now that I am unable to document everything in this short blog post, but hopefully over the next few weeks I will be able to share a lot of whats happening in my life with ya'll. If you didn't know I am getting married this summer. June 26th to be exact, and I am sure that will be a big part of the news you will read here in the coming months.

Keep it real.


The Baby is Here

Posted by Cortland On 5:30 PM 0 comments
Michelle and Josh have their baby girl! We're all sitting around in the waiting room here at sweedish waiting to see the proud new mom. There are already pictures up on several facebooks and being e-mailed out to tons of people all over the country. Tallison Atarie Anamier is the newest addition now to our Journey Family. Its been an incredible experience seeing this life come into the world, and I can't explain how glad I am to be apart of this amazing group of people. It is times like this that I don't know how people get through life without a group of friends to do life with.
Till next time.

New Journey Campus

Posted by Cortland On 8:45 PM 0 comments

First things first. This is a picture of the sanctuary at the new location of the Journey in Highlands Ranch. Its been a fun first few weeks getting that campus off the ground. We at the Journey have had so many great conversations as a staff over the last few weeks Dreaming about all the amazing things in store for us in the future.

The Journey Conifer/Evergreen Campus is still growing rapidly and going strong. I'm super excited about seeing a ton of the church down at Detours tomorrow for the work day.

I have realized over the past week just how very blessed I am to be apart of the Journey. I was in a staff meeting this evening talking about some of the things to come in the future of our church and my mind wandered about, thinking back to the prayers I have been praying this week. I have felt a lot of conviction in the last week about my attitude. When I say attitude I think that most of us think that I mean a feeling for a short period of time. My attitude wasn't in need of adjustment here and there. My whole outlook on life is in need of a transformation. As I wrote that down earlier this week it sounded so drastic. "My outlook needs to be transformed eh?" I thought. However it has shown itself to be true in my life. This week I carried around my church staff badge in my pocket every where I went because sometimes we forget to be the church when we're at the store, or at our day job. We forget that, that is still our job, it has to be the outlook in which we perceive the world.

My challenge to myself for the next week is to be a pastor first.
I'll let you know how this goes.

Your Friend,
Cortland





So, While I am often one of the most disciplined and motivated human beings you will ever meet (said with sarcasm). We will all agree that when it comes to everything involving computers, phones, and staying in touch with anyone, I have been the absolute biggest failure in the world. Every other post on this forsaken blog is like an Obama campaign ad filled with promises of change. A change to a Cortland that Stays up with checking his e-mail, listening to his voice mail, returning your face book wall post, and writing a blog at least weekly.

Whats funny to me is that I was convinced that I was only bad at these kind of things because there was no one to really care weather or not I stayed up with them. But this I have found to be untrue. I was put in charge of keeping up with some of the web content for a growing church and a coffee shop that was making national and local news with some stunning regularity.

Who would have guessed I was still a bit of a failure. But no worries, I have come up with once again a brilliant excuse for my lack of consistency. It wasn't that I had developed bad habits I simply hadn't developed the habits because of a lack of internet access on a consistent basis. Do not fear however because I have recently had the privilege of acquiring one of these.

Which of course is going to fix all of my problems in this area and give me an endless amount of brick breaker to play in my spare time. (again all said with sarcasm)

Moving on, I have decided that this Blog needs to be functional in order for me to stay up with it regularly. What I mean by this is that I need to feel like this blog serves more of a purpose than to give me something to get distracted from nightly. My goal is to make it an update center not only for what is going on with me personally but also with the Church that I am apart of Building and the incredible group of friends that God has surrounded me with.

Alot of times my quam with writting on this "internet machine," was that I just didn't have enough to say, and would end up merely rambling on about how amazingly good looking I was or some other unchanging element of this world.

What I have since realized is that there is oh so very much going on in my life on a day to day basis, that I lack the ability most times to pull something out to tell you about.

In an attempt to catch you up on what is new I'm going to give you a brief over view of the last 2 year.

I arrived in Denver a couple Augusts ago looking like this.
I realized somewhat quickly that wanted to build one of these



and date one of these


So I figured out how to use one of these


I now look like this, and am dating this beautiful girl named Crystal



There are some minor details to that whole story but I'll spare you those for now.
To give you an idea of some of the things that I'm going to be talking about regularly. My life basically consists of My friends and fellow church planters, Our beautiful growing church that God has blessed us with, and The Coffee shop we have started in a feat that looking back is miraculous.

More updates to follow.

Once upon a couch

Posted by Cortland On 1:18 PM 5 comments

I was thinking earlier today about what to do with all the time that I have on my hands. I desire to see more come out of all of my hours that are now seemingly wasted away by too much E network and Mtv. Not to say that all E network and Mtv watching is a waste of time but at the rate I'm at, you might as well hook me up to a pop culture gossip I.V. and let me live out my days in peace. Sitting at the coffee shop, I realized that maybe writing is one of those things that I could do to fill in all the time that I spend sitting around here with nothing to do. "Writing?" I think, "I can't write here. I don't have a computer here." Then all of a sudden like a lightning bolt revelation I realized that at one time I was familiar with these things that were known as pen and paper. All of a sudden it all clicked. " I could write with a pen and paper."

I have trouble with writing and speaking alike for the same reason, and that is that I never quite know what to say. I mean I can chat it up for sure. I am a born socialite so merely coming up with words is definitely not the problem. Sitting down and writing out something worthwhile that has a point however, is not an easy thing for me to do. Normally when I sit down to work on something like a paper or a speech I merely stare at the page for a few hours not quite knowing where to begin. I either do that, or I ramble on for several pages, writing about how I have nothing to say and how much I can not write. (not unlike what you are reading now)...I usually take one of those two strategies for a couple of hours until I either get tired of it or come up with something better to do with my time.

Today I have been sitting here at the coffee shop most of the day lounging on the couch watching a customized blend of CNN, HGTV, and the E Network.* As I sit I wonder about the last time that I was at a place in my life where I did not have a plan. And I don't mean like what resteraunt I wanted for dinner tonight. But an actual realized plan of what my life was going to be like. My life now is pretty planned out. Not so much so that I ever really know whats going on from day to day, but enough to know that I live in the city that I wan't to grow old in. And I can roughly invision what my day is going to look like in ten years.

I thought back to the last time I can remember not knowing what my life was going to end up looking like. I believe it was two years ago, the day before leaving Kansas city to visit Denver for a couple of weeks. I wasn't too sure what was going to happen there. But I went in to my work and told them that I definitely wouldn't be in for a couple weeks since I had, the night before, bought a bus ticket for Denver on a whim.

This particular day I was trying to spend a little time with a few friends before I left, but rather found myself sitting on old furniture, chain smoking a pack of camel lights with my friends mom. I was waiting for this friend to finish recording some music in his childhood bedroom turned music studio. This friend in particular was quite tempermental about being left alone during these, "in home recording sessions", and in being so, had stationed his mom as a sort of "studio bouncer." She sat there in the living room reading a novel it appeared she had picked up at random from the front rack of the grocery store. (something with a title in the likes of: The Magic Sunset, The Night of the Rogue, or The Silver Herald.) She was chainsmoking through a pack of paul mall 100's.**

With nothing much else to do I sat there with her and read through the paper that was sitting on the coffee table. I remember reading an article about the worlds hottest pepper and how beer helps tame the spicyness of food.*** Later that evening after the recording session was over we all whent out for mexican food and home for beers strictly for research purposes of course.

The whole story doesn't have much to do with anything, except that it was two years ago, and ever since my life has been so full of purpose and direction I haven't once experienced the confusion that comes from not knowing where you are going. Now, as far as the headaches that go along with knowing where you're going that's a whole other blog.




* Something really brings out the dynamics in political talk when juxtaposed next to the latest episode of America's Next top model.
**It's always the little things that you remember.
*** Yet another great excuse to have a beer.


Hey all,
Sadly now you all know how God feels most of the time (waiting for me to write something).....sometimes I imagine what he thinks about as he watches me carry around my bible and journal for days never bothering to crack them open.
I have learned something however, during my crippled walk with God, and that is, no matter how much I feel unmotivated, uninspired, and detached from my spiritual walk. If I tune in and make an effort to spend time with my God I can instantly be spoken to. God has never stood back to see if i kept coming. Every time I seek him I have found him. It is almost enough to make you take it all for granted.

In the past few weeks of my life I have been through a strange series of experiences. I have had emotional peaks and long periods of emotionless living. I have had periods of incredible endurance going into short spurts of exhaustion. I have been inspired to live with a more positive outlook knowing that I am capable of doing great and amazing things. I have also been humbled and brought to the realization that I still have flaws and selfish desires.
Honestly I haven't quite figured out what all these things mean, or how I am supposed react to these experiences. But what I do know is that I'm on to something and when I find out what it is I'll let you know
~cortland


Posted by Cortland On 7:29 AM 1 comments
Hey there. I'm posting via text message. So it'll have to be short. But wanted to let everyone know that the blog is under construction and will be fixed soon.

I'm back

Posted by Cortland On 9:42 PM 5 comments
So it has been some time and I'm sure that I have lost a fair share of my 2 or 3 readers, but I am still alive, and planning to keep up with this whole blog thing eventually. It has been a few months now since a lot of things changed in my life. All kinds of things got mixed up about 7 or 8 months ago when I decided to make some new habits and drop a few bad ones. It has been a pretty good few months, with much good news to report, But as always along with that good news comes a lot of learning.

Just like every journey in this life this last one has been quite an adventure. I realized that giving up a habit may not be that easy but it is way easier to keep up with then it is to keep up with a new habit you are trying to form. As long as your goal isn't to smoke a pack a day or develop a cocaine habit its gonna be way harder to start something in your life than it is to quit something.

I still am tempted by all the enticing brands of tobacco available at ever convenience and grocery store that I daily find myself at. But its as easy as not sparking up. As for blogging, journaling, cleaning, making phone calls, going to the gym, and studying every day, I'm not as consistent.

Along with these sometimes seemingly discouraging new realizations. I have also learned that I can do anything if I make it a priority and get consistent with it. I Am not inapt in any of the areas I want to grow, I just don't take them as seriously as I should sometimes.

As you read this be encouraged, that there is no part of your life that can't be fixed when gone at with the right plan, dedication to that plan, and support to guide you to success.



Nothing much substantial

Posted by Cortland On 10:47 PM 4 comments
I'm am gonna write something meaningful again someday I promise. For now I write how I really love the new kanye cd even though I really didn't want too, and how I love cookies and cream Ice cream. More to follow...

~cortland

Well well...it has been some time.

Posted by Cortland On 8:57 PM 1 comments
So.. its been three weeks and I have not had one thing to say. Sometimes when I go through a blog droubt I have several things that I think about blogging about and then never get around to. This time, this is sadly not the case.

So.. Its a new year and I did not find time to make up a formal new years resolution list.
Its a bad feeling when you realize that it is the second of January and not only did you not achieve any of those daily habits that everyone starts in the new year. You have not even set then goals you should have been well on your way t0 achieving yesterday. All this sounds depressing but I swear I have been in the best spirits the last few weeks. I honest to god am looking forward with alot of hope.

But as much as I could paint a pretty inspirational picture about how much I have grown over the past year, and how I'm going to take so much ground in the new year, there are alot of things that go along with all that.

I am going to take ground... and as for this past year goes, I am miles away from where I was. But all this takes a step by step aproach. It takes me saying that in the coming year I will have enough blogs written to fill a book, but more than that to say I will write one tonight. It is exciting to say that I will be writting and delivering sermons to groups of a hundred or more in the coming year but more than that I will study for them tonight. It is all about now. As I take on this coming series of "nows" called 2009, I will take on each moment with the same amount of energy and dedication.



Transition

Posted by Cortland On 9:32 PM 3 comments
I used the word transition the other day to describe my state of being, and at that moment I realized something.
I went over to my computer and pulled up this definition.

tran⋅si⋅tion

1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change: the transition from adolescence to adulthood.


I realized that this is not a state of being, but rather this is being. To be alive is to be in transition. When I realized this I decided to be more intentional about the whole Idea of being in transition. I realized that the changing would not stop and that rather than ignore it, it is much more beneficial to embrace it. I encourage you to realize the changes occurring in your life all around you that are happening all the time. Embrace them with all your strength in the moment. Be intentional in your life.
Be intentional in your personal growth, your relationships, and your spiritual life.

Also you should listen to some John legend you won't be disappointed.

john legend

I promised my girlfriend

Posted by Cortland On 12:05 AM 3 comments
I left for this vacation 5 days ago with high expectations of the massive amounts of time that I would have to dedicate to the doing of things that I wanted to get done. Things like writing, reading, and getting extra sleep were high on my lists of things to get done. So far on this trip however I have not had a moment to read once, nor have I had time to write one blog. I have gotten less sleep this week then I ever do at home. So now at 2 in the morning I just finished 2 hour or so conversations back to back with every relative I have that started at 8am and ended literally just now. The night before my return and I am going to be getting about 2 too 3 hours of sleep tonight and I'm sure will be busy for the weeks to come. I don't know how to balance all this. How do I get the rest that I feel I so desperately need. I certainly didn't get it on vacation, so where than do I find this time. I guess its time to get stronger. So this post goes out to my beautiful girlfriend that I so convincingly promised that I would write. Even after 3 hour conversations with my parents and an early breakfast tomorrow. love you girl.

~cortland

leaving

Posted by Cortland On 5:16 AM 1 comments
Its been an amazing week, finished off with 113 people in attendance to our weekend services in total. which to you might not sound like a lot. But to myself and the rest of the journey staff, is a monumental occasion. They say in church planting that the battle to reach a hundred can be filed away under one of the hardest struggles in planting. For us it is a marker alongside a long road and only means more growth is on the way.

This week however has been monumental for me in other areas. My girl and I had our first kiss on this last Friday and on top of that I had my birthday yesterday. Life is looking awful full. Still there is always struggles and battles in our "daily," but I have had a changing of mind this last week that was reiterated by two amazing sermons preached by Adam and Michelle yesterday.(kudos).
This changing of mind has been the decision to be not only thankful but positive through out every day, in every situation. I feel that I used to be a more positive person and some where along the line I lost some of that. I'm in love with the idea again and it is an amazing feeling.

On that note. I am going to be thankful for my trip home and my family even though I don't want to leave my family here in Denver. I will use this time to get ahead all that I can; both in my studies and my daily disciplines (exercise and things).

I wish you all a happy holidays and I hope that you too find yourself having a changing of mind, and becoming more positive people.

LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland




I am spending the evening browsing the web for various forms of seemingly useless knowledge and listening to the new Zoe Deschanel/ M. Ward project "she and him", which, in my opinion is absolutely amazing. I have decided that there is too much that I want to learn. I think of the most genius people in the world; Those few men and women who devote their entire lives to the task of becoming more knowledgeable. I think about these genius minds and realize that there is so much that even they still do not know.

There are stories that they have never been told, history they have never read, and skills they have yet to master. This blows me away to think about, and also makes me somewhat overwhelmed and frustrated.

There are a lot of times in my life in which I feel pretty lazy. I am by no means a work-a-holic. But there is a good amount of time that I do spend being overwhelmed by the intense desire to do more, learn more, read more, and listen more. I want to be able to outsmart anyone. I want to have endless stories, facts, and aticdotes to keep me entertaining for hours at a time. I wan't to learn more and I will. Every week for now on I will look back and ask myself, "what new thing do I know?"

LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland

just an update

Posted by Cortland On 9:37 PM 2 comments
It's been a week since my last post, so I guess it's time for me to force out another blog. I think that sometimes I lie to myself, telling myself that someday writing will just come easy. I live in a house full of writers and talking with all of them I know for a fact that it will never come easy.

I guess I feel most of the time that I want to wait until I have something that I feel is profound to share with all 4 people that read my blog. In all honesty however it is most likely more due to procrastination than anything.

I am admittedly a liar at times, and being completely upfront about all things is a daily struggle for me. However I have realized that my bad habit has started to grow into other areas of life. I have learned to try and police myself when I catch myself lying to others but I feel that I may have become so good at this deceptive craft that I can now, quite effectively lie to myself. It has reached a bad point when it takes several inner monologues for me to figure out the truth about myself.

Over the past few weeks I have realized that I have some areas in which to improve on in my life. I have also realized that I will never fix anything unless I can sit myself down and be honest with myself about my feelings, motives, and intentions. As long as I can spin my behaviors to myself I will never reach a position that is teachable.

In the coming week I have decided to lay down my defenses and give myself a more honest look. I am determined to grow here now.

Small update in my life.
I might be moving into a new apartment closer to downtown with some of my best friends.
I have begun a new adventure in dating with a beautiful girl named Crystal. ( who is currently bed ridden with some flu that I'm praying I will not catch)
And we might just be getting a dog which surprisingly at the moment seems exciting.

LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland

Lifes not gettting any easier

Posted by Cortland On 2:56 PM 3 comments
I think that I may have been believing something for some while now that isn't so true. I think as I began to make growth and positive change an intentional part of my life I figured that I would reach some point in which it would get easier. I figured, "hell if I can grow and get control of this part of my life then life will somehow come easier to me."

I'm coming to realize this is not true. In fact it is the opposite of true. Life has gotten harder. It's definitely easier to be a failure. I don't think we are told this growing up, I guess out of a fear that we will just choose the easier road and do nothing with our lives.

Before some of you quit reading this, assuming that it is a depressing post, give me just one more minute of your time.

I am not saying that If I could go back I would make any changes. In fact I can guarantee you that no matter how shitty life can get I'd rather be this person than the person that I was a year ago. Its worth it. But just so you know, When you strive for something better, weather it be having real friendships, being in a real relationship, being in a crucial leadership position, or maybe raising up another little life. It only gets harder.

And all you can do is get stronger.

LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland


How did we forget

Posted by Cortland On 8:30 PM 3 comments
So when I was in junior high I whent to a youth camp. There was this guy there named Sammy Knuckles. He spoke in a new way I had never heard before. I actauly was able to stay awake for 90 percent of his messages, which was quite an accomplishment for me at that time in my life. I remember I got a chance to spend a weekend with him later on that year at a D-Now event. (for all the baptists out there you know what I'm saying, all the fun of summer camp with twice the preaching all jammed into a weekend.) Again I was able to stay awake (this time for all of his messages).

I remember saying to him that I was amazed that he could do what he did. I had never before seen someone who could relate that well. I told him I wished I could do what he did. He looked at me and he pulled out his bible. He pulled a picture of us from the summer camp out and told me that he kept it there so he would remember to pray for me every day. He told me that someday I would do what he does and he'd look me up and come watch me speak to hundreds of youth about Jesus.

Needless to say. I thought he was a little insane. And I don't have the hundreds yet. But I do have speaking in my near future, both to youth and fellow adults alike. God's grace is really something eh.

I say all this because I have found that It can be quite hard to do what Sammy did, and that is to be relevant. Every pastor in the world today is talking about relevance, but it is something I've only seen mastered by a few.

I think that in most cases relevance can be boiled down to "remembering" . I want to tell a story that I think describes what I mean.

When I was in 5th grade I had a best friend named Ethan. We were best friends. I guess I should say he was "my" best friend. He had some other friends that may of been closer. But being the homeschooled sheltered child I was I didn't have any other friends. Ethan and I would hang out for hours. We would spend the night at each others houses routinely, staying up all night to talk about every facet of life: girls, football, video games, and star wars.
There was one thing however. Ethan was in sixth grade and in our world once you made the leap into the junior high youthgroup, you never looked back to remember the plight of gradeschoolers. I can still remember hanging out in his basement at three in the morning getting him to sign a friendship contract stating that he would not forget about me after passing into the teenage world.

Sometimes I feel as if we as christians can get caught in these same kind of sittuations. I feel as though when we grow, sometimes we can forget where we were. We can become calussed to the ways of our christian youth. We forget that we too, were once young in our faith, merely holding on to the bumper of it all by god's grace. I think that sometimes we either want to be held back a grade (keeping ourselves from growth and change), or we want to forget about what it was like to be young (ignoring that we were once there.)
My friend Mike once told me that to be able to help people with their problems you must be able to tap into the memory that you were once there. You have to keep those emotions on file. So that you can truly be relevant and effective in your help. Not that you should keep your problems around, but do not to quickly forget.
You were once there.

LIVE
LOVE
YHWH
~cortland